"blessing in disguise" ? , I think Not.

What do you think about the ability to not stay mad or upset with something or someone??


I told my dad once that if it wasn't because of my good upbringing, I would love to throw my tantrum around once in a while. Like how little spoilt kids do it. Throw things around, scream, shout, cry and be angry at everyone. Just once in a while. Rather than bottling everything up. sometimes I think I'll erupt one day. Then again I don't think I'll ever be given that chance.

SIGH.

Don't know about others but sometimes I just want to be angry. Really,I want to, at least just for a longer period. I know it isn't a pleasant thing. but having to force yourself not to be angry at someone is even more more more more...............UNPLEASANT.!

I'm not saying that I want to say mad or upset with something or someone forever, cause I don't. I know I'll come around to forgiving the person very soon but I just don't want it to be too soon. When it is too soon, I feel like I'm being forced to forgive. SIGH.

Yes, I myself think that it is complicated, yet all the complication comes from me.
I just request for a little more me space.
Give me time to stay mad, upset or whatever it is. Allow me cool down when I want to,NOT when I have to.



It leaves like a weight on the heart. : /
and I think it increases blood pressure too. hahaha.