i told you because i tell you everything

I'm angry and upset now and worse part is i know i have no one to blame but myself.i can honestly say that I'm afraid too. it really sucks, it took so much for me to finally get use to the whole new environment and now it's practically gone. don't say you understand cause you cant possibly. i just don't know what to do now. I'm clueless and I've never been in a situation so complex. i feel bad because it's my fault to begin with,but I'm mad. at what? don't know. maybe just at myself.

i feel bad for having to lie, i feel bad for destroying something.
but all these were never my intentions in the first place.

i really hate being labelled